3 Simple Steps Towards Living Life on My Terms

Living Life on My Terms
Living life on my terms.
Photo By vickiayala.

What if radically changing your life could start today with 3 simple steps?

It didn’t take long for me to answer that question. There are dozens if not hundreds of specific, task-based things I could be doing to build my business. But none of them came to mind when I thought about changing my life.

My mind instantly gravitated to my perfectionism, lack of production consistency and the drain of my day job. Here are 3 simple steps I am taking towards living life on my terms:

1. Focus on good, or great will never happen.

For most of my life, I have been hamstrung by perfectionism. New ideas come easily, but finished projects are few and far between. Why? Because I have always struggled with the perceived importance of creating something perfect before the world sees it.

This is in absolute opposition to advice from one of my online mentors, Seth Godin. Seth talks about the fear of shipping and asks, “why bother indulging your fear?” I have always been afraid of shipping (getting something out into the world) because of the potential for negative feedback.

Maybe it came from my childhood, which would be easy to blame, but I know better now. Consequently, the only one to blame is me. If I know better – about money, time management, perfectionism, fitness, etc. – any lack of success or progress in those areas is my fault and not something I can blame on my parents, peers or otherwise.

Corbett Barr talks about writing epic shit. Frankly, that sounds pretty ominous. While I understand and agree with the premise and the importance of publishing quality content, I also recognize that setting the bar too high can keep you from ever making an attempt. If you don’t focus first on writing and publishing something good, you will never get to great or even epic.

30 day challenge That’s why the 30 Day Blog Challenge has been so good for me. When I first read about the challenge, I didn’t even have a blog. I asked, “how can I possibly participate in the blog challenge without a blog?”

My problem wasn’t related to knowledge or ability. I have created many websites and blogs for other people, but never for me. My problem was belief in myself, working on my own behalf instead of for someone else.

Mitch Joel, another of my online heroes, often references a fear he calls “impostor syndrome.” That “condition” describes a competent person who finds it difficult or impossible to believe in their own competence. Or, a fear that someone might “find them out,” calling them a fake, a fraud, or worse. That has been my fear. And creating my own blog would potentially create so much exposure that I would be “found out.”

Where I grew up, I would call that bull pucky, a euphemism for BS. I have plenty to offer the world – we all do – and it’s time to quit being so selfish.

Thanks, Natalie, for calling BS on me. This is Day 6 without a missed day (although yesterday’s post didn’t go live until after midnight!) and I’m just starting to pick up steam.

2. Write 1,000 Words a Day.

I touched on this concept in an earlier post here, noting that Chris Guillebeau challenged me to write 1,000 words a day, even if I didn’t know what I was going to say. For me, this daily practice started on August 1, 2013, only two days before I learned about the 30 Day Blog Challenge. It is fascinating what has happened in 10 short days since I made that commitment.

The obvious reward is output. Words on digital paper that previously did not exist. However, the unexpected rewards are already surprising me. Here are just a few:

  • The process of writing uncovers hidden ideas that existed inside of me but needed a way out. Writing opened the door for their escape.
  • Even if no one reads what I write, good ideas have a way of spreading. My nephew, a sophomore in college, asked about my writing and has challenged himself to do the same. A friend of mine, who knows I love to write, has been checking in with me and is compelled to start writing himself.
  • The process forced me to envision a perfect day, and opened my mind to the possibility of spending more time with my brother, for fun and in business.

With 142,000 words to go before the end of 2013, the excitement of finding more buried treasure just makes me giddy.

3. Be at work by 7 a.m. and stop working at 2 p.m.

This is a biggie for me since I still have a J.O.B. After nearly 24 years in the same rut, it’s easy to think I need to fill 8, 9 or 10 hours of every day with “things to do” at work. It’s just not so.

For the last few years, I have been arriving at work by 10 a.m. and staying until 6, 7 or 8 p.m. This gives me time to hit the gym in the morning, do a little writing, and then cruise in to the office.

While I enjoy my morning workouts, I hate getting off that late at night. My son is still in high school, and he typically gets out of school by 3 p.m. If he doesn’t have drama or basketball practice after school, he has free time. Since my son only has two years left in high school, I want to spend as much time with him as possible.

One easy solution is to spend time with him when he is free in the afternoons. I would still get my workouts – often with my own son – and we would have two years to enjoy more quality time together. That’s a win-win.

The other benefit to this new schedule is that my employer will get more for their money. Even though I will be working 1 to 3 hours less per day, they will be getting more of the best of me. I happen to get paid very well for what I do and my employer deserves the best I have to offer.

Start Living Life Today on Your Terms

Today I published another imperfect blog post, added another 1,000 words to my daily writing ritual, and recognized the importance of going to work earlier and getting off earlier (hat tip to Sean Ogle), which I will start tomorrow. I’m excited to see what happens.

Today’s post is an answer to Day 6 in the 30 Day Blogging Challenge: What are my three priorities for the next 30 days that will move me closer towards living life on my own terms?

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